*TECH SUPPORT:
Program Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow-down in the performance of the Flowers and Jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1.   Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.  What can I do?

Signed,  Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try to enter the command C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME and install Tears 6.2.  Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5.   But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.   Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program.  These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.   They could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend that old stand-by Lingerie 6.9 (which has been credited with improved performance of his hardware).
Sincerely, Tech Support.......